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The Haven Management

When great trees fall....

Joann was wise and soulful and a great teacher.  I loved learning through her wisdom. 

Joann provided wonderful reflection with compassion, and in doses that I could digest.   I came to Haven with a huge blind spot about how I be with others.  She showed me ways to be ‘good enough’.  I am a better being - friend, mother, colleague because of Joann.

Joann – you are a great soulful tree.

Anita

 

When great trees fall,

Rocks on distant hills shudder,

Lions hunker down

In tall grasses,

And even elephants

Lumber after safety.

 

When great trees fall

In forests,

Small things recoil into silence,

Their senses

Eroded beyond fear

 

When great souls die

The air around us becomes

Light, rare, sterile,

We breathe, briefly,

Our eyes, briefly, see with

A hurtful clarity.

 

Our memory, suddenly sharpened,

Examines,

Gnaws on kind words

Unsaid,

Promised walks

Never taken,

Great souls die and

Our reality, bound to

Them, takes leave of us,

Our souls,

Dependent upon their

Nurture,

Now shrunk, wizened.

Our minds formed

And informed by their

Radiance,

Fall away.

We are not so much maddened

As reduced to the unutterable ignorance

Of dark, cold

Caves

And when great souls die,

After a period peace blooms, Slowly and always

Irregularly, Spaces fill

With a kind of

Soothing electric vibration.

Our senses, restored, never

To be the same, whisper to us

They existed.  They existed.  We can be.  Be and be Better.

For they existed.

Maya Angelou

 

 

Fw: Sweet Dreams Joann

 

----- Original Message -----

From: Sue Paulson

To: joann.peterson.memorial.@blogger.com

Sent: Thursday, June 07, 2007 10:40 PM

Subject: Sweet Dreams Joann

My introduction to Joann and her to me, was in the Spring of 1988.  I was looking for a counselor and a friend of mine said "I know a very good one".  Joann and I have laughed over those first few sessions we had.  Neither one of us was too sure if it was going to work between us.  But (fortunately for me)  after a few meetings, I relaxed and the humor started to come out from both of us, and we settled in for the long haul of counseling.

 

Our relationship over the past 18 years went from counselor/client to friends to workshop participant/teacher.

 

What I learned from Joann can not be measured.  I only hope I can mentor someone in my life time, as she did for me.

 

I am still in shock of her passing.  Even though it is not a secret we will all die some day; and I was always  aware of the major health issue she was dealing with over the years.  I still thought she would always be here!

 

Sweet Dreams Joann

You are loved and will live on in my heart forever!

 

Sue Paulson

Wishes of peace

Anyone who had the opportunity to meet and learn from Joann is truly
blessed. I think of her every time I load my dishwasher and the forks
aren't in the "right" way! I cherish my time that I had the opportunity to
learn and grow from Joann. She showed compassion to others by sharing her
experiences of pain that she endured in her life. Her lessons will be
carried on through generations. Thank you, Joann. Thank you for your
compassion. You are held in the highest regard.

Sandy Soderberg (Anger, Boundaries & Safety 9/04)

Comes The Dawn

After awhile you learn the
Subtle difference
Between holding a hand
And chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't
Mean leaning
And company doesn't
Mean security
And you begin to learn that
Kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept
Your defeats
With your head up
And your eyes open
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child
And you begin to
Build all your roads on today
Because tomorrows ground
Is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid-flight
After awhile you learn
That even sunshine burns
If you get too much
So plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting for someone
To bring you flowers
And you learn that
You really can endure
You really are strong
You really do have worth
And you learn and learn

With every goodbye
You learn

Dear Joann

When I saw the subject line of the message, "Remembering Joann Peterson", my heart sank.  I knew it meant no more hearing her voice, seeing her delicious smile, walking down the pathway beside her, talking with her again.  Then I started reflecting on all the ways Joann has touched my life since I met her over 20 years ago.  And I believe she will always be here. It's a very long "list".  I have been sad for myself that I won't see Joann again in this life.  I am glad that hers was a journey of growth and learning.  I am sad that she had so much pain in her life.  I feel so very blessed that she chose to use and share her life experiences to help me stay alive and to live the happy life I now have.

 

In thinking back, I realize that as she was guiding, nudging, nurturing, she too was learning, experimenting, growing – the suggestions she offered in programs and to me about how to be in the world she tried out for herself, too.  And I take great delight in remembering her over the years and seeing her grow into her beauty.

 

I attended Anger, Boundaries and Safety last August, when Joann was still in hospital after surgery.  As I have been thinking about what I learned, I marvel at how beautifully designed this program is - elegant, concise, graceful and to-the-point – just like Joann.  And it seemed to me that it was created without ego.  Without her there, Wendy, Jan and Greg were able to step into her shoes and carry on superbly.

 

When I was a beginning intern, striving so hard to be perfect and definitely not achieving, she once asked me "Who do you not get along with most, men or women?"  Affronted, it took me a while to realize the answer was both, at which point knew I had to make an attitude adjustment or two.

I am so appreciative of her professional knowledge and experience that she shared in her role as intern educator - her no-nonsense, principled, approach; her attention to detail.

 

When I first started coming to The Haven, I wore sweatsuit outfits a lot and saw myself as awkward and ungainly.  I started to notice Joann make shifts in how she presented herself, notice how women, and men,  I liked looking at presented themselves.  And started to think that I, too, was worthy of coming forward and presenting myself with confidence.  I made adjustments to my style, and one day Joann said how graceful she thought I looked, when I didn't see myself that way.  I realized that I too could notice positive things about myself. 

 

A few years ago, after Joann had back surgery, she started using a cane.  I remarked one day that I thought the one she was carrying was very attractive.  Her reply:  "If I have to have a cane, I want a sexy one."  Fabulous!

 

When my friend, who later became my husband, first attended a Come Alive with me a few years ago, I was so delighted that she saw the same wonderful person I did and welcomed him with open arms.  She knew that I was really "bringing him home to meet the folks."  And her gentle guidance was a very positive influence in our relationship

 

Joann helped me realize that to be myself, I must look to myself and not outside – she modeled an embrace of living and of growing older – that the wisest way is to live fully and authentically, not be afraid to take risks.

 

Direct, insightful, wise, crone energy, humour, masterful -  you lived your life with dignity.

 

Joann,

a blade of grass,

dancing jauntily in the breeze,

bending in the wind,

resilient,

not broken by passing storms,

now planted in a different meadow.

 

With a warm feeling in my heart,

 

Lynn (Parmenter) Nixon

blog entry

To Joanne....
Well I know I haven't really been living as righteous a life as many...and I'm still kicking myself for having not done that painting of you while you were still here. However somehow I felt that you might value more that I live an honest life. So I first went about setting the story straight on several accounts....quite better I must admit.
So...(and I'm wondering if anyone else might be experiencing the same thing)...I feel as if your presence is as strong as ever. The lessons I learned from you in a short while I applied immediately in my life. They have made a huge difference and I shall remember them for as long as I'm on the planet. You have succeeded in creating such an incredible learning method that you live on in zthese teachings. And I'll never forget how you saw completely through me with your smile....
Love you...
All of you...
Pete Lee
(Come Alive, Anger Boundaries Safety, 2004)

Joann

I was stunned and deeply saddened to read about the passing of Joann who, for me, was a wonderful teacher and caring friend.  I took every course I could that she led and I can never express enough the appreciation I feel for the wisdom she shared and the inspiration she provided to me and many others. There will be a big missing in my being  especially when I visit or think about attending the Haven. She was a quintessential part of my self growth and development much of which I owe to courses I have taken with her at the Haven. I know that her spirit lives with all of us who ever knew her. I will miss her very much. Thanks for the opportunity to express my thoughts.

 

Peter Benson

Naramata, BC  

Joann

Joann was one of the most formidable people I have ever met.  I use this word because I saw in Joann the incredible courage to challenge me to try something new and at the same time the love and caring for me to take the time to call me on the huge wall I had erected around myself.  I had the privilege to spend two months with her and for me this time changed my life so much for the better.  I know I changed it; still I was incredibly blessed to find Joann who had the heart to assist me.  She lives forever in me, and so many of us, whom she cared about

 

Brian Rowbottom

 

 

___________________________

 

Thouhgts from Craig

Joann, I say to you Respect!

 

Hope is what keeps us alive and faith moves us forward.

 

Thanks for the push! I am loving you always....

 

Later

Craig Young XO

I Re-member

Dearest Joanne
Life flowing gently down and through
over, under and between.
I miss you.
I re-member
I breathe LIfe energy
Let tears flow
Re-member
Breathe
I miss me
I miss you.
Joanne
teacher
Knowing eyes
Gentle hand
Firm boundaried heart.
I knew you
I know you.
I lived you
I re-member you.
My heart fills with peace
My heart fills with loving.
I let go.
Geri

_________________________________________________________________

She will be remembered!!

I first met Joann in 1984 on the day my Phase 1 ended, that evening I
started Women's Sexuality. Phase 1 was my first introduction to Haven on the
advice of my lawyer. Joann and Peggy Merlin were staying in Raven and I
went to talk to them at the end of that first session. Joann told me that I
said to the two of them that I couldn't do the workshop because I wasn't a
girl. I saw myself as a 21 yr old, drunken, rowdy, redneck, tomboy from
Prince George, she saw me as a confused young woman. I treasure the
influence she has had on me over these last 20+ years.

I have been dealing with the loss of my Dad on Christmas morning when I read
of Joann's passing away. My Dad had a paralyzing stroke ten months earlier
and died of a massive blood clot. I knew in a general way that Joann's
health was precarious but when I did Disengaging Depression in the summer of
2004 she was the same Joann that I have known over the years. All the blogs
about Joann have captured the wonderful woman that we knew and loved. I know
my Dad is no longer struggling with a body that didn't work anymore and I
know Joann is not either. I believe they will get to know each other 'up
there' and swap stories about the Heather they have both helped me become. I
can hear their laughter now!! :)

I will miss you, Joann! Thank you for always helping me see the woman that I
am. I have always felt your love and acceptance of me and respect for my
process. You are missed!

Heather Jackson

_________________________________________________________________

Joann Peterson

Joann was one of the greatest teachers I have been priveleged to learn from. I have often said that my education at Haven far surpassed my university education in importance and impact. It was an interesting experience for me to work with Joann during Phase 1, and to experience the full life passion of someone with a PhD.... So I learned that it could be done!! Brain and heart and gut can co-exist and the combination is more exciting than the individual parts. What an empowering, enlivening and  joyful path was opened up for me. I am grateful for Joann’s role in guiding my daughters on their path as well, and feel so grateful that I can summon up her presence in my memory, and “feel” the things I learned at Haven, and from Joann. What a gift.

 

Karen Minden, PhD,

CEO, Pine River Institute,

Tel: 416.955.1453   Fax: 416.955.1652

www.pineriverinstitute.com

 

in memory of joann Peterson

I had the privilage of taking two courses at Haven which Joann helped lead - "Come Alive and Disengaging Depression."

Joann was an amazing lady with so much compassion and understanding for people. She helped me through a very difficult bout with depression with her knowldege, empathy, courage to change approach and her own life story.  She lived life to the fullest and touched so many people with her warmth and love.  She will truly be missed.  Joann was a cornerstone at Haven, and that wonderful place will not quite be the same without her presence, but her spirit will live on there forever.

 

Gratefully yours,

Sue Peachey

Joann, I cannot stop writing about you on my heart...

 Her Ordinary Life

 

She was a girl friend and a mom,

A wife, an adventure partner,

She was a buddy to some,

Her wink famous to others,

Some heard her disappointments,

Others her cries or laughter,

Only intimates heard it all.

 

She fussed about her house,

Keeping two of them for balance,

Both necessary to keep her job,

Both supports to her ability;

She commuted to work, driving,

Crossed a border, left home,

Got home again, to her work.

 

A lifetime’s work, to listen, to love,

She ached when she got news

Learning something had happened,

At her other home, or with you,

The distance a price she paid, to be

 This quiet lady from Bellingham,

This extraordinary lady from Haven,

One place seeing her ordinary days,

The other demanding her best daily.

 

Her life was designed to fit her,

It allowed her to access her every part,

She expressed herself powerfully,

And never gave away her heart,

She simply entered the moment,

Sharing each electric reality,

Bathing herself in her commitments,

To love, to be honest and here,

For “Pete”, her boys, the grandkids, friends - and us,

Us being the other family she loved,

Where she worked, she fretted, she was,

As if it was all seamless, all tied into one,

Her life had meaning, it was pushed forward,

Relentlessly, she grew, she saw, she taught,

By word, by example, by her silent witness,

Joann lived her ordinary life fully,

The life for which she had fought.

 

Dale Partridge

January 18, 2007

Forgive my use of the familiar “Pete”. While I have never met him, Joann’s love and enjoyment of her husband was so frequently shared, often in parables or insights that caused me to understand something, often for the first time – I feel close to him and Joann’s much loved family. It’s as if the unique lifestyle that they created together was such a gift to me and thousands of others, as we all spent so much time with this amazing woman over the years.

Thank you Joann

Joann in Sep of 01 during Phase One

Joann, I was shocked to hear of your passing. In my sadness of
saying good bye I find comfort with the many warm memories I have of
you. I am blessed and privileged to have met you; to have been seen
by you; to have shared conversations; to have been guided by your
succinct words of wisdom. I will forever cherish your gift of
sharing that has such impact on my life journey. Thank you from the
bottom of my heart, Sam Mak

Joann Peterson

From Jim Sellner,
I first met Joann in a Come Alive on the barge in Vancouver. I was assisting Ben & Jock, Joann was a participant. I recall how we sat outside sharing both our fears about being “found out.” As we talked we both burst out in laughter at the absurdity of that fear. Everything changed.  We both relaxed and had a great time for the rest of the workshop. After that I felt very close to Joann even though we didn’t see each other much.

Joann’s impact on Haven has been insightful, inspirational and loving.
Joann, you will be missed.
jim

To Joann and Ben and Jock from Mike Meegan

Dear Ben and Jock (and Joann):

I finally found the blog dedicated to Joann- I was sitting here reading it – thinking about the influence the three of you have had on my life -

My fireplace is about six feet to the left of  where I’m sitting - I just happen to glance over at it and there was a big billow of smoking coming from the front of it – I went to see what it was – and my oven mitt was on fire – it filled the whole house with smoke and I hadn’t noticed – I was too busy reading and reflecting – it must have been burning for quite awhile because there was only about a quarter of it left when I threw it in a waterbucket on the porch.

                        ..........................................................

          I sit here searching for words to say and then I realize this is not complicated  –  just plant my feet to the floor and sit quietly  but continue to let a few thoughts form –  teacher heads the list  –  followed by simplicity and genuine – grateful is in there too -

Instinctively I want to ramble – Joann Peterson wouldn’t want me to ramble – she’d probably ask me what I was feeling – I’d tell her a sense of loss

She’d remind me a sense of loss is not a feeling –

Ok “sad then”  then speaking to me in silence – she’d  nod her head and let me cry –

She might cry with me  and I’d experience been seen -  like I often did with her.

I suppose that’s what she gave me  -  that’s a lot to give to someone –

             I’ll be forever grateful –

                                           Love Mike

                                                                                         

Remembering Joann

Dearest Joann,

It was February of 1982. You were new in the counseling practice and had an
opening. Twenty-five years later, I consider that to have been the single
luckiest and most important phone call I've ever made. With your help, three
generations of our family changed the way we lived. You taught us new ways
of thinking, and doing and relating. You dragged me (very reluctantly) to
Haven and shepherded me through change, change and more change. Others in
the family followed. Your dedication, compassion and caring kept us coming
back for more, and more and more. There were times when you were the most
important person in our lives, keeping us going through the rough spots.
Your confidence in our ability to prevail never waivered. Your smile, that
signature tip of your head and wink of your eye enveloped us in a warm
blanket of safety. You had an enormous heart, and you cared in the depths of
your soul. Despite, or perhaps bcause of, the travails of your early life,
you gave others the caring you never had. You made a profound difference in
thousands of lives, including ours, for which we are eternally grateful.
Thank you, thank you, dear Joann.

Now we grieve, and remember your eyes, your smile, your voice, your words,
your touch, your hugs, and your love. You have a permanent and very special
place in our hearts. A place like no other.

With deepest affection and gratitude,

Nancy Kennell
Bellingham, WA

An inspiration you were

Attending Come Alive in summer session of 1997 and it was truly an
amazing experience and life changing. Joann you were an authentic woman
with so much love, strength and courage. When I met you and the rest of
the PD Seminars team at the Haven I was spiritually depleted, shut down
and tired of running. I will never forget the meeting I had with you and
Wendy. I still cherish the advice you gave to me and it took me a long
way. After my Haven experience I moved on and continued my personal
growth journey. I am happy to let you know that I am working on my
thesis for my Masters of Arts in Environmental Education and
Communication. It was an enormous challenge and mid-way in the program I
took my notes out from PD Seminars and that really helped me at the most
difficult time I was experiencing in my graduate studies. Life is
amazing. I had not reflected on my time at the Haven for over a year.
And today I decided to google the Haven PD Seminars and I felt a great
feeling of sadness when I read the sad news. You were such a wonderful
teacher, for me you were an inspiration.
Kleco! Kleco!
Lillian

--

I miss you.

I felt a sinking in my heart the moment I read the news. No more
moments with you - your wonderful smile and sense of humour, your swift
insights, your precious caring. I miss you already. And I am so lucky
to have had those moments with you. I feel very special to have shared
them.

When I would go to Haven I was often content if we walked together from
Heron down to the Lodge. Sometimes I had nothing to say. I just wanted
to be in your presence and with you. I felt satisfied with that many
times. And I was so joyous when we had chats together - just the two of
us. I loved them.

I was always in awe of you as an educator. Where does all your
knowledge and experience and wisdom come from? How do you know so well
what would shift the energy in this moment and lead at least me to a
place closer to my feeling, to me? And I thought you were often leading
with your vision, with your very soul.

I hold all these memories and many more very precious. So long
sweetheart. I am so glad we journeyed together even for a short time.

Ann Doyle

Still With Me

Words are always difficult for me to express, but I want to add my voice to the chorus of so many who have memorialized Joann in this blog.  This heartfelt outpouring of love and recognition of Joann's enormous contribution to so many will be one of the songs her life sang.

 

Five years ago I began my journey at Haven.  Joann was there for that first, raw experience, cradling me as I wept and opened.  Joann was there, fully present, for my last course this past March.

 

I saw your shining spirit Joann, which only seemed to grow stronger over the years.  Your pain did not define you and I marvelled at that courage, tenacity, and took heart in it.

I loved your clarity, directness, feistiness, truthfulness and humor.  But most of all I loved the way you loved and took such care with each of us.  You knew when to push, but not too hard.  I love how you laughed, smiled and winked knowingly and inclusively.  You were smart and at a time when my trust and faith were waning, you spoke words born of experience, stuggle and wisdom.  Words I could trust and believe.

 

Beginning this summer your image kept popping into my mind.  I would respond by sending a little prayer for your healing, accompanied by gratitude for your being.  I felt awkward about trying to articulate my feelings so just kept my thoughts unexpressed.  Until a couple of weeks ago, that is when I awoke and knew that I needed to let you know how important you had been in my life.  My first e-mail ever to you was sent January 5, 2007.

 

Now you are no longer here.  I am glad you are no longer in pain, yet I am sad.   Throughout each day and for a very long time each night before falling asleep I am remembering you.  I am surprised by the depth of my grieving.  Logically it is unreasonable, given the limited amount of time I was in your presence as a student.  Yet here it is.  You nurtured, inspired, encouraged and challenged.  You asked no less of others than you did of yourself.  I loved you for all of it.  

 Now, rest sweetly,  and in the words of a great teacher......

"Bless your bones"  Joann.

 

Lovingly,  Anette G.

Surrender

Sensing, Surviving, Settling, Stumbling, Selling out

 

Starting over, Searching, Striving and Finally Something more

 

Joann, you taught me that soul directed events defy logic and ridicule reason, however authentic moments never betray us

 

Our time together was brief yet I loved and learnt so much from you

 

Everyday you walk with me, everyday I smile at the woman I am, the woman I've become and the woman you assured me I always was but never knew

 

It's raining outside today and raining in my heart

 

So near yet so far away

until we cry, laugh and play again

 

Rest easy and enjoy your next phase

 

With Love

Mardi Kaye   

 

 

 

Farewell to a teacher, mentor and good friend

Dear Joann,

Teacher, mentor, and friend

For the many things that you gave, in time; will never end

So near, and close even from so far away

You made time, for caring in so many ways

Thanks for being there to nurture, and to play

And have the gut to stand and say what needed to be said

 

I learnt as much from your tender heart, and firmness in this way

At time I felt so naked, yet seen

And wondered how your vision was so clean,

Best was when I got to laugh, and play

Made the big issues go away,

Cherishing many favours done, and how

You showed me I had it in me to be the one

To be here NOW, was a great relief

No more waiting, no need to deceive.

 

My sadness is that you’re gone, yet my love for you,

Can be cherished and linger on

Good bye my friend

Thanks for your caring and your love

I’m sad that you’re no longer here,

Yet your graciousness seemed to dispel many who had fears

Your help showed so many they were not allow,

And the most sacred was really already inside

And you’re not on your own.

 

I still see your rye smile, and cheeky grin,

It’s good to know you let me in.

My tears for you now celebrate all that has been

Thanks for showing me how to get near,

Not to be so alone, but sharing with other rather than on my own.

With a loving good bye I cry just a little more

Knowing, that you opened up that inner door

My special friend, my learning with you will never end

 

Thanks for all the gift that you’re brought, and the many teaching that you taught

Yet the greatest gift in my mind

Was your willingness to share the good and the bad

From a where you were, even if other didn’t concur

This seemed to bring a sense of presence and grace

And made it a joy to connect face to face.

Will nice those time, and cherish the rest

May you now truly rest in peace,

With love

Stefan Neszpor

 

My recollections of Joann (written with love-ing)

Joann,
Has it really been 10 days since you died? I had intended to write
something sooner but I suppose my excuse has been that I have been away and
that work has been busy. To be honest it is more about resistance, perhaps
to submit to this blog is my acknowledgement that I will not see you again
(in human form). I am grateful that it was Linda Nicholls who informed me
last Wednesday as she had previously arranged to meet Lisa and me for lunch
on that day.

In my copy of Anger, Boundaries & Safety you wrote "Randy, Such memories,
from Taiwan to now!"

In November of 1990 I travelled to Taiwan and Hong Kong with you, my father,
Jock and Linda Nicholls to offer Come Alives, I believe this was the second
year in this part of the world that Haven had offered the program. During
this trip we bonded, adjusted to a different culture and spent many hours
talking, laughing (and your occasional giggle fit), being easily embarassed,
and it was at this time that I started to learn from you. Four years prior
to this trip I was in a Come Alive which you led -it was then, in 1986 that
you really became a significant person in my life. Over the next 20 years
there was a constant connection which I know many others have experienced
with you -Joann, you were a mentor who trained me clinically, and you shared
with me much wisdom about living; I recall being introduced to developmental
psychology and humanistic perspective to personality styles in a way that
was interesting, exciting and I yearned for more. Even today when clients
and colleagues ask me where I was trained I answer that it was at the Haven.
I will miss seeing you sitting at your table when I am in the lodge for a
meal, miss you asking me how my life is going, how I have been since our
last meal, and your grin and that beautiful twinkle in your eye.

I remember when you were taking ballroom dance classes and my father was
your dance partner -the senior citizens in the class; when I saw you dance I
imagined that you experienced a flow, a freedom in your body, and that for a
few minutes you were able to transcend the physical limitations that were so
present for so many years.

I choose to hold these and so many other memories of my contact with you
over so many years. One more memory to share was when you presented at the
Victoria Haven Experience two years ago. We (the organizing committee) were
thrilled that you were presenting and that you agreed to do a book signing
over the lunch break. You were beaming at the end of the signing as there
were quite a number of the participants who asked you to sign their books
(like you were not expecting this to happen). I have no doubt that you will
continue to be with me for the rest of my life; I am looking forward to
being at your memorial gathering.

Tenderly,
Randy Wong

In memory of Joann

Dearest family and friends to Joann…..

 

It is with sweet sorrow that I read through this blog and recount memories of our shared past….one that connects so many of us to each other….being present in creating ‘community’ on so many levels.  I realize that without seeing many of you often, and now not being able to spend more time with Joann—that it is not really the time that matters---more that it is the quality of our relationships. 

 

For me Joann will always be one of those outstanding examples of such quality of relationship.  ‘No holes barred’ (as she would remind me!!) and a willingness to risk it all deeply in that way of connection. 

 

I send me gratitude for the time we shared.  Joann if you didn’t encourage me --- I would not have leapt off the edge and risked living past all of the physical challenges which appeared to be before me.  And---I might not have risked co-creating miracles!  The most recent of which is my beautiful new baby daughter Freya (her daddy and I met while in Phase I with Joann).  I returned home from the hospital on January 9^th and heard the news the next day.

 

Joann you have been a role model of how to live ‘outside of the odds’ and I will continue on that path.  Gods speed on your journey. 

 

“Come to the edge.”

“We can't. We're afraid.”

“Come to the edge.”

“We can't. We will fall!”

“Come to the edge.”

 And they came.

 And he pushed them.

 And they flew.

~Guillaume Apollinaire

 

With Love and light

Brandy Gallagher (MacPherson)

OUR ECOVILLAGE, Shawnigan Lake, BC

 

 

 

Sweets

Sweets.

I remember revealing that I thought there were special rules for me. I
believed that though I do not expect perfection from someone else, that
though I feel compassion for other people in their struggles - that I was
somehow an exception and should know better - and be hard on myself to make
myself perfect. You told me that this was perhaps one of my most important
realisations.

Now, years later, I'm still doing it. I've hesitated over posting here
because I've fretted that I couldn't compose the perfect tribute to you.
But I am aware, and I am making a different choice.

Oh, Joann. You being gone feels wrong. I wish that there had been more
time. I want to know you more. I've already learned so much about you from
the memories of others here.

Sweets, I remember you calling me once.

I learned so much from your great big heart, patience, and wisdom. And I am
grateful for what you taught me about life and myself.

Joann, you helped me to choose life. In that work, with me having spewed
forth vile self-hate and my desire not to be... I remember you finally
telling me to open my eyes. And so I did - to see me, reflected in you, and
you, seeing into me. "Live," you bade me. I hold this memory tightly to
me, Joann, with so much gratitude and love for you. A door opened that day
and a cool breeze freshened my soul. I have opened many doors in my times
with you.

Even still. I wish my parents could have met you, who played such an
important role in my life. So last week I wrote and told them about you.
There are things they didn't know about the dark times in my life, and it
was hard for them to hear. But another door has opened here, in my
relationship with my parents, and I am excited to step through it.
Thank-you, Joann.

I can hear your voice still.

One night, when I was grieving you, I felt a warm presence by my side. I
believe it was you.

I don't know what I believe about death, or what happens after. I can tell
you that I shall remember your voice, your gentle hugs, your beauty, and
your delicious sense of humour. And in further memory, I re-dedicate myself
to living in honesty, integrity, and intimacy.

I wish you well, wherever you are, and I love you dearly, Joann.

Dea

_________________________________________________________________

Messages abound from Joann

The quote in the poem below is what Joann penned in my copy of "Anger,
Boundaries and Safety" just two years ago. Her message of love,
learning, honesty and honour will continue to be heard in our hearts,
minds and spirits. I really only saw her message in this quote when I
looked again at the inscription a few days ago. Thank you Joann, thank
you, thank you.

Joann

A true mother's tongue
'Do follow and explore
everything that beckons you! I
have had delight watching you
emerge this month. Enjoy the
passion of responsible anger.'

Do grieve the loss of this brave woman's life
Do honour her with exploration
Do be everything you can
Do love
Do laugh
I hear you sweet lady
brave fighter
tender warrior
and I promise me and you
I will live and in that life I will
Do.

With such deep gratitude - Karen Nye

in shock and much sadness

Joann,
Having known you since the early 70's it came as a shock and much sadness
That you have moved on. We had not always agreed with each other over the years and with your ,"in my face attitude" and all your loving, I am not the person that you first met. You hold a very special place in my heart and with much love, I will always remember you. Thank you for being you.

With great sadness

Always Joe (Turner)

from Harriet

Joann, you sang me a lullaby once, sitting on the floor and holding me, even though you were in pain even then. You always welcomed me back to Haven, winked at me over the years, and a year ago, when I was in pieces and a fledgling intern, you took my face gently in your hands, looked tenderly into my eyes, and encouraged me. You invited me to mail you after that, and up until just before your operation you answered all my mails point by point. We looked together at some of my shitty thinking and judgements. "Nasty!" you wrote, in response to one of my comments. That one still makes me laugh, even through my tears, as I write this. You told it like it was, I wanted more of you, I wish you hadn't died, I am glad you are not suffering anymore, I am so glad I knew you. Harriet

Thanks

Joann,

I do not know how to sum up in words what a
profound influence you have had on my life.
Simply put, THANK-YOU for everything!

You will always be with me!

Linda Wischoff

Though the singer is silent

While thinking about Joann today, I received a beautiful e-mail from
Haven and sensed the Wonder-Full Love, from her global family,
Blessing her Soul.
Joann's life mirrored family, communication, connection, integrity
and authenticity. What a life! What a song!

I turned toward a tender song on the TV and as 'no accidents' have
their way, Carly Simon was singing in unison with her children, Ben
and Sally Taylor. They sang so softly, a song composed by their
father, James Taylor. Carly celebrates the song on her CD,
appropriately entitled: 'INTO LIFE'.

It felt like Joann, responding.

May Haven now place a 2nd chair at seminars; one for reps, one for
Joann.

Peace and Grace,
Cathy Meadows

You can close your eyes

Well the sun is surely sinking down
But the moon is slowly rising
So this old world must still be spinning round
And I still love you

So close your eyes
You can close your eyes, its all right
I don't know no love songs
And I can't sing the blues anymore
But I can sing this song
And you can sing this song
When Im gone

It won't be long before another day
We gonna have a good time
And no ones gonna take that time away
You can stay as long as you like

So close your eyes
You can close your eyes, its all right
I don't know no love songs
And I can't sing the blues anymore
But I can sing this song
And you can sing this song
When Im gone

"Though the singer is silent, there still is the truth of her song."
John Denver

for Joann's blog

Your words "okay honey-bunch... it's all right honey-bunch....," "I hear you have a little heart beating in your womb," "Carrie! Swing the bat directly over your head!" and many many more, mark the platform that held me up as my life  became indescribably and immeasurably more.  Thank you with all my love, Carrie Southern 

for Joann

As I read each of these entries, I feel closer to Joann, making it all the more difficult to believe and grasp hold of the reality that she no longer walks this earth. I haven't spoken to her or seen her for over 9 years and yet, the news hit me hard. Over that time I sent her occasional letters and email and no matter their content, I always got a beautiful reply. I treasure this correspondence.

I remember sharing a very personal photo shoot with her. I felt so beautiful and special. She admired the curve of my womanly stomach. I had never noticed it before. I think of her when I notice it today. Joann, thank you for seeing me as the woman I didn't notice I was becoming.

I remember lamenting to her of some way that I felt wronged. I don't recall her exact words but remember the experience of their sharp but loving sting. That turned out to be a powerful hour for me. "Open your eyes! Don't go away from me." Joann, thank you for your truth and willingness to be with me.

The mirror of her friends is a powerful one. I am grateful for it. I experienced her presence as one of love, pure and joyful and sexy and strong. I am glad to have been bathed in it. Thank you, Joann, for your love. I hope you rest easy in an embrace of love in this next phase.

Jennifer Hamelman Milyko
Missoula, MT

Heart, Dear Heart

Heart, Dear Heart

Your memory lives deep inside me

  too deep for words, or sighs.

Somewhere in my core, there you are.

 We, like one, connected so deep

Like a silver thread, from me to you,

  And now where you are.

 

You and I have memories,

  of crying, of laughter, of anger, grief

You and me, the speaking of our bodies and

  the telling of tales

Now stopped...... and now, my aching.

 

Dear One, your love is reining here all over us.

And we, and I, thank you.

In my love, you are here.

 

To Joann, With love, Jane Olynyk

From Bill, Rosemary & Shana

Remembering Joann

Known...
in a short time

Touched...
deeply

Forever...
held

In grateful Hearts.

Bill, Rosemary and Shana

A Soft Holding

Joann...

You held me when I saw you last
Seeing me in my pain
Your body as petite as my own
A firm whisper in my ear...
"You have lost too much weight"

This moment seemed to last a lifetime
And utters the essence of your existence to me
Your presence and loving assured voice
Your soft holding and firm guidance
Moments with you
Knowing I exist

I hold my memories of you
Softly
Firmly
Assuredly
Lovingly....

Jennifer Hilton

I will never forget you, Joann

I was deeply saddened by the news that Joann had passed away. To Joann I owe much of my growth in both my personal life and professional life. I was privileged to be one of the few people from Asia in those early years that had close contact with and was professionally trained by Joann. She was a great role model and a teacher of life for me.  At many difficult and turning points of my life, Joann came to my "rescue" by giving me feedback that was always insightful, precise and impactable. Her teaching so gracefully combined with a spirit of human warmth of heart and sensitivity to my pace of growth, and as a result, I never felt pushed and yet the motivation for growth always grew soon afterwards from within my own humanity. Such capacity and legacy of her teaching has long become an inspiration for me and has been personalized in my own way of teaching and in my own life of relating. 
 
And on top of everything was her great capacity of loving that is the most valuable legacy that will always be lived and cherished in my heart. 

 

Sean Feng,

Shanghai, China.

 

The Unfolding of Joann

Dear Joann,

I have marveled at how you continue to unfold.

In the 16 years I have know you I have witnessed you explore, expand, retract, explode, implode, react, reproach, exceed, succeed, expand, contract, inspire, aspire, seduce, respond, inhale, exhale.
 
Now I breathe and know that your unfolding continues.
 
With loving,
Carole (Ames)

Fly with Eagles

Almost a decade ago and during the most difficult time of my life I was
introduced to Joanne in one of the Haven's seminars. She touched my
soul and helped me strengthen my spirit in a good way. That impetus has
never been forgotten and I often remember the gifts she gave me in a
very brief moment in time. I am one out of many Northern British
Columbian Rednecks that is going to miss her. Joanne, I pray the
creator holds you gently and the wind fires your spirit to fly with eagles.
All my relations,
SBM

Dear Joann

Dear Joann

I struggle to find the words as I remember the times we have spent together. I
have a heavy heart and a light spirit as I am with you.

You shared with me your self in so many ways. From the gentle words and the
playful wink you shared, to your words of wisdom and wonderful stories of
learning. You have been such a huge part of my journey. You have guided me and
offered many thoughtful insight of who I am when I was stuck and didn't see
myself. You were warm and loving and packed a huge punch for such a small women.

You held my hand and hugged me. You listened when I confessed my
transference, " like you didn't already know". You allowed me the space to be
me and shared in my sadness and my joy. You encourage me to follow my dreams
and be with myself in whatever that was. You had this unique ability to be with
me in a personal and loving way, like I was the only one in the room.

I mourn the loss of your physical body and hold your spirit in my heart.

Terri Wolfe

Special message remembering Joann

A message for Joann

I talk to you every night and through many moments of the day. You
are everywhere for me and yet I so dearly miss your physical presence.
I am so grateful to you Joann for every moment that our lives where
shared. You were many things to me (mother, friend, mentor,
colleague). I wish that I was closer in contact with many of our
shared friends right now but of course you know I am busy working
away at another learning experience. I want to thank you the most for
supporting me in so many moments of my life and also our friendship
between Paul, myself and you. We had many laughs especially when you
came to Yellowknife and worked with me. Paul and I will always hold
you deep in our spirits . I know you are still holding us all near to you .

Your journey is continuing and I will always keep in touch (I know
how much you loved the wowo stuff). Yet now I know you know. We
journey together dear friend in all forms of energy.

Play well, learn well, rest well, love well and we will all love you
back no matter where your spirit journey's.

I love you and miss you yet through time I will feel you deeply in
the wind and we will speak. Yet for today I cry.

Love your friend Gillan Enright

For Joann

Joann
Gentle teacher, Knowing friend, Greatly missed..
Rest Well

David Aitken

In memory of Joann

I know words cannot express the feelings of loss you must have with Joann's passing.  Yet hearing the memories of others when my Mom passed away showed me I was far from alone knowing someone so precious in my life had gone.   So I will give you mine in that spirit.

She said we were like her daughters and sometimes I acted like a little brat to get her smile.  She stayed close by when I was small and afraid and shone with me in my joy.  She loved me, and through her eyes I found love for myself.  She was like no other lady, so loving and strong.  I hold her close in my heart. 

With deep saddness

Denise Angelstad

from Derek LaCroix

I have had a hard time writing this as I feel a deep loss and heavy heart. Joann was a truly remarkable person. She has been a teacher, a guide, a mentor, a friend, a colleague and a co-Leader. Truly a range which is unusual and speaks volumes of her desire for her students to grow and excel. This relationship was, most importantly, maintained in a gentle and nurturing container which allowed for differences. Joann was able to give me direct feedback that I did not immediately hurt myself with and withdraw from. I saw her do that with many others and always marvelled at her way with people, especially the most hurt and defended people. Over the years no matter how much we were apart my memories and caring for her never left my heart and that will not change. I will miss her and I will never be without her and what she provided for me.

 

with love and gratitude

Derek

 

Derek LaCroix QC

 

Joann

Joann

Dying -- but forever alive!

Cushioned by your husband Pete

And your Haven family

You finished the box

And stuffed yourself inside: closed the lid.

Early on, you must have decided that was the safest way.

I hear you call as I peck out these words.

How challenging for me to tap into the Haven stream

where  all swim naked; the mind freshly skinned and alert

despite life's challenging behavior. We often saw the love of God more

clearly through tears then in the sunlight.

Several times we were together on Haven¹s  "baptismal team".

How difficult to capture early thoughts and feelings

before the censor gets out his eraser.

My brain is starved.

I want to rattle around the property with wonderful memories of you.

To ignore the flow of life,

To fail to learn your truths and be free

would be my peril.

God Bless You Joann

You stretched your arms in life and helped us do the same

With your unspoken prayer you nudged us

Out of self

A sudden gift.

You are uplifted and alive

like Adam on the first great day of creation

spinning in your new born light.

Jack Sproule

 

in memory of Joanne

Joanne you helped to awaken the life in me. Your deep care and interest in me and others, along with your smiling eyes and warmth  made a deep impression on me. You inspired me to care about, acknowdge and be present to life. I feel privilledged and so fortunate that I got to witness your "aliveness". Thankyou Joanne. All the best to you always, Blair.

Good night mother.

Dearest Joann,

I will follow the words that you told me,
I will be a brave woman.
I will bless myself to be a good writer.
I will practice to love people and myself, as you always do.

I will never forget.
How you taught me to stay with my inner fear.

I know, you love me.
You know, I can feel it.
I love you, Joann!

Dodo.

Good Night, Mother!

Sleep early, mother

Hope is waiting in the wings

To trade dark clouds with sweet dreams

Whenever I feel sad and down

Exhausted by life's ups and downs

You would take me in your arms

In my ear your gentle voice sounds

Sweet dreams, my baby

Put your regrets and worries behind

Wake up in time to greet the first sunlight

Good night, mother!

--Dodo--

___________________________________________________

Sending Love on your Journey

Hey Beautiful,

 

My heart is full of the loving, soothing, learning, nourishment and twinkles that you are.  Radiance beams from every millimeter of your walking and being.

 

You cradled me in your arms and sang me a lullaby, holding me like no one else had. Your song reverberates forever through this Heart. Your love and generosity of spirit pass through all of us and back to the world, over and over again.

 

Your life is a blessing to me.

I still see you. Shining through us all.

 

With love and love.

 

Venita Ramirez

Seattle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Memories of Joann

I only knew Joann for a couple of years, which in many ways seemed like a lifetime. In my eyes Joann was a rare lady. She had great wisdom; humility and strength of character; caring and compassion; she knew how, when, where to push always with love and respect, always honouring our process. Come Alive, April 04 was when I met Joann. Sitting in her chair, watching over us as we began our journey. I will never forget Joann holding one of the participants, soothing her, singing to her like a mother. After one of the breaks, I was walking back to Heron and there was Joann beside me asking me how I was. I told her I felt drunk and nauseous and that I somehow knew this was ok. Joann smiled and said yes nauseous was good. In July of 05, I attended Phase 1. Once again Joann was sitting in her chair, watching us and seeing what only she could be see. I don't think she every forgot someone's process. On the way to the lodge one day Joann walked behind me humming. For quite a few steps I walked and smiled as I was filled with warmth listening to her. I told Joann how I was warming my heart with her humming. She told me her story of her journey to humming. Today, when I catch myself humming I think of Joann. On our work day we discovered it was Joann's birthday and a group of us decided we would celebrate Joann. One of the photos giving honour to this celebration is displayed prominently in my home. I walk by it several times a day and am reminded of the fun we had AND lessons learned, openings, awarenesses, crashes, breakthroughs and shifts I have had during and in the months after Phase1. Often I will look at the photo when I am searching for answers. During the last day of Phase 1 when the leaders and interns sit in the centre of the circle talking about us, Joann's words of me were one of the brightest light bulbs I have every experienced. No one had ever hinted, indicated or shared with me (to my awareness) feedback on my quiet voice being controlling. I was stunned. This past year I was at The Haven a lot and sometimes Joann would be there and sometimes her spirit was there. I find it very interesting that each time I go to The Haven the first place I look is where Joann sat. I miss seeing her back support on the bench. At Reflections this year when I was in the costume room I felt Joann. She had told me for her work day she had to organize it (although it was at Heron then). I saw the outfits from our Phase 1 experience and her birthday celebration. This year I was in the play, and I know the people in the back heard my lines, and I bet Joann did too! When I was creating my Haven Workshop Vision Board this year, I said I was taking Joann's three workshops. I know her spirit will be there too! sher Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary. Cecil Beaton

Blog

I wanted to be poetic, though decided not to. I sometimes haven't a clue about what it is that's going on for others, to step back and think about the them and what their needs or wants are. She did. She told us what was up, she let us know how we were viewed and what our issues are/were from her perspective. I trusted her... That's rare. I wonder how many people have wanted to be able to do what Joann had done and how many will follow through and try to emulate her example. Phase One 2003 was the last time I saw her and it's true. If anyone has an opportunity to encourage, share feedback, and/or tell us we need a 'kick in the pants' like Joann had I (and others too) do so. I believe her to be a brilliant example about how to help other people with their 'stuff'. Don't forget what she taught you, remember that... That Joann tilled seeds of knowledge in each of us that we can harvest and carry through to the next generation, I just wonder why it is that she wasn't allowed to till some more. Eternal blessings, warmth, and comfort to you and all those saplings out there.... Grief. Robert

Joann

My heart is heavy and I'm feeling very sad knowing that you are no longer with us, Joann.  You were an important mentor for me – you helped me develop more fully into my personhood and encouraged me to keep moving forward through the rough spots.  You challenged me and supported me – as you did so generously with so many others.  I appreciate and remain deeply inspired by how you loved others, loved your work, and engaged so fully in life!

 

Monica Milas

 

Regina, Saskatchewan

 

Radiant Spirit - Loving Women - Deep Soul

Almost 16 years ago to the week, my first experience of Joann.  --  first was her quiet, deep, presence that penetrated and spoke so loudly to me – embodied in it was an unfamiliar sense of acceptance and compassion – so full that it caught my attention and curiosity in the midst of my confusion. … then without words, her solid, focus and grounded touch, communicated to me how important it was for me to learn the same at that painful change-point in my life.

 

With that introduction Joann became a guide through many of my most painful times and a mentor into many other wonderful areas of my life. To me she was teacher, mentor, colleague and friend. Joann, by being so completely human and fully personal, while clearly maintaining her awareness of boundaries and roles, offered me a richness of connection that was unique. She also has shown me more possibilities for fully engaging in my life with a depth of heart and level of responsibility that is rare.

 

I continue to learn to step through my insecurities, fears and times of doubt with the inspiration and thoughts of Joann. In moments of ‘not known what to do next’ with others, I have often simply thought of Joann and easily opened to what to comes next.

 

I think fondly of the many hours spent together; talking, learning, discussing, laughing, resting, crying, sharing stories of loved ones, wishes, dreams and hopes, of celebrations, disappointments and angers - both hers and mine. I recognize my missing of her in the last few years as her health became more compromised, and my time with her less. Yet in my concern and recognition for her, I was complete.

 

My smile, my warmth and amazement ran deep as I learned that Joann was heading to The Haven for Anger, Boundaries and Safety, in November – I knew it meant a lot to those who were attending from the Staying Alive , and even more so, I was aware of Joann --  her love of her work; of touching the soul’s of others, of offering her loving, her connection, - which when received was truly healing; I know it if for myself and am privileged to have heard it through the many stories from others. Her spirit is immense and potent.

 

I feel so grateful and honoured to have walked such a brilliant path along side Joann for the time that was given and received – both ways.

 

To her family; I am sure you will miss the wonderful women she was… and I hope that you drink deeply from all that she has contributed to this world.

 

Joann, I am wish you rest gently now – knowing you were deeply loved.

With all my heart,

Cathy.

(Cathy Wilder)

 

 

 

Friends in Taiwan gathered in memory of her

Some friends who live in Taipei, Taiwan gathered together tonight at Al Chambers and Debbie Yao’s home, to pay our respect and share our love for Joann. Among us are Cora Tao, Dodo Lee, John Yin, Tammy Lai, Fidel Kao, Sunny Lin, Sweet Wang, Wan Chang and Linda Wang. We were sad to hear the news that our beloved Joan has passed away. When we find out that Sunday night we can all get together, we decide that we want to do something together.

Al has printed out a beautiful picture of Joann, and Debbie bought a lot of pretty flowers—with different colors. We also light a lot of candles.

We all have tears in our eyes but as we talked about this lady, about what we’ve learned from her and shared our loving feelings for her with each other, we find out that after a few hours of sharing, tears have become laughter. We know that Joann’s spirit will live with us. We also know that as long as we remember her in our heart, she is with us.

I hope other people from this group will write and share their feelings with all of you who love Joann. I am full of gratitude and loving tonight, thanking her for coming to Taipei with Linda Nicholls after that serious earthquake in 1999, to lead a Loss & Separation workshop. I am glad that some of us went for her Disengaging Depression workshop last year. I know for sure that what I learned from her will not stop because I will continue to do whatever I can to spread the seeds that she helped planted in my heart. Joann will always in a very soft place of my heart.

Cora Tao in Taipei, Taiwan

farewell my friend

First let me say thank you to whoever it was that called me and left a message saying Joann had passed away.

It was someone from the Haven staff and I really don’t remember who it was. I remember them apologizing for giving me the news in such a way. I understand that it must have felt awkward and maybe even heartless to share the news on voicemail, and I want to let you know I really appreciated your thoughtfulness in contacting me, voicemail message or not.

 

Later Wednesday night, after I heard the news, I got together with friends for our regular Wednesday night check in. We all spent time talking about who Joann was to us personally and remembering different ways she had impacted our lives. I remember hearing words like ‘steal’ and sterling, and grand old lady, and gentle and loving, and honest, and tough and bitch (“I always ask how do you feel about bitches?”) all through a haze of shock, I suppose.

 At the end of our check in, standing in our circle, my eyes closed, all I could see was Joann’s smiling face, with that twinkle in her eye that she often had when she laughed at herself and one of her Joann-isms. The tears flowed freely with the realization that, although she will remain with me in many many ways, the opportunities to see and touch her in a physical way are gone.

I am sad about that, and yet I am filled with gratitude for having known her, and to continue to know her in a very real way as I continue my life with her teachings and her particular way of being mixed in there in some way. I have been blessed by her and I am grateful.

 

With loving always

Renee

 

The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want!

- Ben Stein

 

Gratitude

No words.  

No words will ever express my gratitude for the gift of having been blessed with such a wise, honest and loving woman in my life.  

I remember when I first met you.  

I thought, "That is one feisty ol' broad...I want to "grow up" and be just like her."

I saw myself in you--I wanted what you had.  

You loved me when I wouldn't love myself. 

You challenged me.

You stood steadfastly by me as I learned about myself, often the hard way.  

You taught me to laugh at myself, to value my resilience and challenged me to take risks.

It am grateful for the wonderful memories of you.

I am grateful for the many experiences I had with you that I carry in my heart. 

My favorite is sitting together listening to Yalom speak in Anaheim, it was an amazing experience...you admired him and I admired you both.

I often think of you when I am sitting with clients. 

I carry you with me into my work and knowing you has made me a better therapist.

I will miss you AND I know you are not far away, you are in my heart.

With both joy and sorrow in my heart,

Heather Johnson

Olympia, WA

 

Joann has been a force for good in our lives; in life and where she
has now gone, she is a source of continuous learning. Before loving
interactions with her in Phase, Anger Boundary and Safety and other
programs, we learned new skills in parenting from her one summer a
long time ago. Her own childhood experiences combined with her
later interests and training translated into insights, skills and a
graceful acceptance so few parents ever glimpse. Her wisdom, her
diligence, her energy, her generosity, her humor, her loving,
kindness and power will continue to teach and inspire--as will this
community she has helped bring together. We are honored to have known
her and shared the blessings of her many gifts.

Nancy Carter and Jeff Parke
Seattle, WA

To Joann

When I remember you Joann I remember your smile.  I remember your voice and the woman of you and I feel a certain joy.  I remember your eyes there to meet mine when I questioned myself and my world - in the circle or round the intern's table - challenging me to find my will and my truths in the reflection of your own.  I am grateful for your life and all you chose to share with me and mine over the past 20 years.    You have been my teacher and my friend. 

 

In the bittersweet  sense of loss I feel, I know  you are gone from us and yet believe in the wavelets you have created, as they continue to ebb and flow over the oceans of the lives of so many.  Surely there is no end to what you have set in motion.  For me your beautiful light will never dim............

 

See ya!

 

Lovingly,

 

Roberta   (Burrows)

 

 

 

 

Nanoose Bay, B.C.

From Marlise and Bob to our Sunflower Lady

To wonderful Joann

I am left with a beautiful image. The image of how Joann tilted her head when she would talk to me. Her face would energetically become so open and round , always reminding me of  a sunflower and her head would tilt in the way a flower does when  tilting towards the sunlight. I pointed that out to her, the last time I saw Joann and she laughed. Bob, of course, tried to imitate me imitating her and  we all roared!

She is so so so  loved and and will always be loved. She will always live  in a special little place in  so many people’s hearts.
What an extraordinary gift Joann is to humanity. Her conversations, her teachings and her energy continues to be with me.
I am truly blessed  to have had contact with such a powerful, gentle , wise,  and soulful teacher.

Marlise McCormick
Bob Buckley
Vancouver BC Canada

 A Life of Paradox

 

Literally discarded at birth, she flourished,

Abused, hated, hurt, she embraced love,

Dismissed, challenged and ignored, she lasted,

Small and frail, she became a towering strength,

Her voice, like her eyes, pierced every situation,

She seldom spoke loudly, yet her words echo,

Always personal, so intimate, she laid you bare,

Seeing you like you had never been seen before,

And with her dispassionate acceptance, you soared,

She knew, she knew full well, her knowledge real,

A lifetime of seeking out broken hearts, lost souls,

Discarded people, like herself, not seeing their choice,

People too scared, too angry, too hurt to hear or see,

She opened her arms in honest inquiry and care,

Letting the most vulnerable feel secure in an instant.

 

Her paranoia was real, often an appropriate tool,

Her dysfunctional past and vision, a constant warning,

Her willingness to reveal herself, her heart and horrors,

Spoken in the same language of human connection,

She owned her self, her beast more than her beauty,

She never revelled in her achievements or honours,

Private matters, they would fall out unexpectedly,

Little hints to who she was and what she had created,

Just as quickly refocused to the moment, where she lived,

There, with you, in that electrifying place of discovery,

She lived most fully, inviting you to emerge, to risk,

Always assuring you of your ability and merit, she’d wait,

Sometimes minutes, even hours; for some, even years,

But she waited, with an up to the minute picture of you,

It was you alright, although you’d never seen it before.

 

So often endangered, she endured and grew and gave,

Her sexuality was so scary, she courted it to understand,

Then she celebrated it, showing others how to regain theirs,

As rage and physical attacks had defined her, so did her work,

She laboured feverishly to restore broken people to be whole,

First in the helping professions, then as a teacher, she knew,

Nothing was aberrant in nature, only refusing to see your part,

She knew that seeing how exotic or toxic your solution was,

It was the beginning of acceptance, of appreciation and love,

She was living proof of how learning to understand and grow,

Was key to a life fully lived, fully discharged of its unique merit,

Then she’d have to go; she was busy, living, being, to the end.

 

Thank you Joann Peterson.

 

Dale Partridge

January 12, 2007

 

Joann Peterson

I am saddened to hear of Joann’s passing. I had the privilege of being in the course that she and Wendy Huntington offered on boundaries last Summer, and will always remember her vitality and her serenity. Over the four days of the workshop, there were several occasions where those of us in the circle would simply ask questions of her, and she would respond to each one, sitting in her chair – presiding in those moments. Her responses were compassionate, and direct. I felt that we were in the presence of a master – a person of great wisdom. I feel fortunate to have participated in that course, and to have met her.

Jim

Joann I miss you!

I am sitting here at my computer with tears in my eyes after reading some of the entries on the memorial blog for Joann, not knowing what to say, most times I find it hard to express my feelings especially now, I miss you so Joann.  I know that she has left us in body, but not in my heart (which for me is where spirit resides).

 

My first experience with Joann was during Phase 1 that was lead by her with Ben and Jock.  From that point on and in every subsequent encounter I felt her caring and ultimately her loving.

 

When I started down the intern path she became a mentor every guiding, every gentle, but at the same time saying what I needed to hear.  At times her feedback was positive and at other times negative, stark and direct, but no matter which, it was always what I needed at the time.  I seem to remember what I heard as negative feedback the most, but subsequent to each of these encounters I have made the most significant shifts in my life and for that I am the most grateful and loving.

 

When I heard of Joann’s passing I was far away and alone, but my thoughts immediately went back to Gabriola, to my friends here and my thoughts of Joann.  This weekend I have been with some of these friends remembering Joann and as we talked, I am remembering all of the good times.  How the feeling of loving and friendship was always with Joann, especially those late nights in the intern room after small group.  It was on those nights when small group had not gone well and Joann was there to be with me and guide me that I will cherish and remember.  I will miss those late nights and also the times of just sitting for dinner when I needed connection.

 

Momma Joann I miss you (yes, I know you did not like hearing that, but then and now it is said with a catch in my throat and with all my Loving).

 

Andrew Bing

re: Joann

From Diana Stewart

 

Contemplating Joann, I experience such a deep sense of gratitude and warmth.  Her radiance seems so bright.  I thank you Joann for your wisdom, and guidance in my life.  You encouraged me by your inspiring example of connectedness to the whole through your teachings, own pain and beauty.  My words are inadequate for the insights I received through your honesty. I recognize the dignity of your person and I imagine the continuance of your grace yet to come.

Heartfelt thanks Joann.

 

Godspeed

"Wendy, don't be so arrogant!"  She had my attention.  I can still feel the way my jaw dropped and my head snapped back.

Joann and I had been having lunch in the lodge, and I was going on about how hopeless I felt about my work.  She saw my moaning for what it was - a self-involved and self-important inward spiral - a path to nowhere.

"Wendy, don't be so arrogant!"  Those five words jarred me into awareness and helped me to start reordering my life.

Joann's caring had an edge to it, and I am grateful that she cared enough to go to that edge - to say the things that I didn't know or didn't want to know. 

Wendy Stalker

A Gift to All of Us...An Exquisite Woman

Joann,

 

I share a poem with you:

 

It Felt Love

 

How

Did the rose

Ever open its heart

 

And give to this world

All its

Beauty?

 

It felt the encouragement of light

Against its

Being

 

Otherwise

We all remain

 

Too

 

Frightened

 

~Hafiz

 

Many years ago now we risked to face our demons, learn and grow together at Haven.  It was there we were graced with your presence....so loving and so exquisitely wise.  During Larry's long illness you, along with Ben and Jock, stood with him through  the Phase programs offering your wisdom and support.

 

When I journalled regularly via email sharing our family's journey with Larry's cancer.... I could always count on your response.  In friendship and caring you stood by us in spirit voicing those thoughts close to your heart.  When our family journeyed to Haven again to do 'Separation and Loss' after the tragic death of our son Justin....you along with Linda, Ernie and Cathy, carried our battered and broken souls to a new horizon.  You offered us gifts of wisdom, insight and hopefulness.  Each and every time you reached out to us, you shared deftly and confidently, embracing us in such a unique way and each message was no less than sheer perfection.  You continued to support me also, long after the loss of those loved ones...always responding to my missives with patience and a giving heart.

 

I imagine in my mind's eye....Larry and Justin greeting you there as you journeyed home to the Great Mystery of Life. 

I will hold you close to my heart forever and until we meet again.

 

With much love and gratitude,

Robyn Janyk

 

Thank you, Joann

I only met Joann twice. The first time was 12-and-a-half years ago, yet she has made a profound difference in my life every day since then. I was taking a Come Alive from Joann and Peggy. At the time I was 5 months pregnant, and afraid to become a mother because I had not healed my relationship with my own mother. With Joann's encouragement and support I was able to tell my unborn son how much I loved him. 12 years later I still have a loving relationship with my son.

 

The second time I met Joann was a recent summer when I was at the Haven with my son as he attended Dance and Games. I was privileged to be able to thank her in person for what she had given me: the ability to love freely. I hope that when Joann passed away, she felt herself surrounded by the love we all have for her.

 

Lesley

a posting for the blog

My first experience of the Haven was a few weeks ago - attending the course 'Anger, Boundaries and Safety' guided by Joann and her team.  Though weak from everything she had come through, Joann made the trip from WA through challenging weather conditions.  From a newcomer's eyes, her spirit seemed to me indomitable, so determined, so passionate about her work.  I felt privileged to be in her presence.  And it was a presence I will remember ... so real, so honest ('straight' as she would say), to the point, full of insight, shining with wisdom.  I did not have the good fortune of a personal conversation with her.  But I felt a deep and warm connection with her when she winked at me a couple of times during the weekend.  The winks were a spontaneous response of hers to moments when I came forward from my deeper, more authentic self.  It's funny how such a simple act done at the perfect moment can feel so good.  My heart brimmed with gratitude at the end of this program.  And in gently embracing her fragile frame I said, "Thank you, Joann ... I feel so much freer and lighter." 

 

Throughout the days of the course, Joann remarked that she had been close to death while in intensive care ... but that a memory of something unfinished seemed to pull her back.  So she concluded there must be something more for her to do.  After I completed the course, I thought (selfishly) there was at least one reason from my perspective: 'I think she came back for me.'  And how I would have loved to be in her presence again.  And perhaps I am.  And perhaps we all are.

 

Her spirit lives on in her dear family whom she lovingly talked about through stories, as ways to teach us lessons of life.  And she lives in all of you connected with Haven who knew her so well.  And also in those of us privileged enough to have been in her company - albeit even for a short time.  Blessed journey, Joann.  And 'thank you.'

 

Maureen Wild

Sooke, BC

Joann the "child whisperer"

I was kind of a strange 12-year-old. At a "Parents & Teens" workshop
in the mid-1980s, Joann took me aside to have a chat about the
direction I was headed in life.

It was obvious to me that Joann was "not like other grown ups" -- she
listened to what I had to say, and talked about it with me as if we
both had special knowledge of our subject, like one expert to
another. It felt almost... collegial.

And I really liked the fact that she didn't "freak" when I told her
some of the crazy things that I believed. In fact, I remember her
just smiling quietly, that Joann-ish twinkle in her eye. And after
weighing my words with real respect, she told me: good grief, change
course, kiddo! Somehow she could treat me like both an equal AND as
a kid who seriously needed some guidance.

I took her advice, and my life started to get less weird, more
grounded. I met her several more times over the years at other
workshops at Haven, and found myself laughing and learning every
time. What a talent! What fun! Thank you, Joann!

Paul Ingraham

Joann

Hello to Joann's family and close friends

I live on Haida Gwaii and have been to the Haven a couple
of times, one of which was to do the Anger workshop with
Joann. I remember being so moved when Joann shared her
story of being put into a dumpster after she was born, and
then rescued. She was such an inspiration to me, and she
shared all her goodness and positive energy with everyone.

I thought, well, if someone can begin life
in a dumpster and do so much with her life, than I can
at least stop being angry.

She also made it possible for me to distinguish between
anger and violence. Joann, you will be missed by so many
people. I would like her family to know that her spirit
certainly lives on inside of me, and I know that she
touched many people on a deep level.

Sincerely,

Evelyn von Almassy

So Long for Now Joann

Joann, you have a special spot in my heart.

I always admire how you would "float" as you moved from place to place.
I am happy for you that you show us to enjoy life the way you have done.
I am happy for you that you care the way you have done.
I am happy for you that you share yourself in as many ways as you have
done.
I am happy for you that you are Loved as passionatley as you are.
I am sad for myself that I will not have another oppertunity to share
your presence.
I truly am grateful to have known you the seemingly short time I have.

So-long for now Joann

Martin Lange

---

Joann

Dear Joann,

Bravo to one of The Three Musketeers!
And now you soar. May your blessed soul brighten ethereal light.

For Joann

Praise mountains you climbed
Bless valleys gardened with love
It's winter now, sleep.

With love and gratitude,
Cathy Meadows

Re: full, grateful, warm, loving

For the year of 2007 I chose as my word - Gratitude
It is so fitting when I think of you Joann.
Dear Joann
I am so grateful to you for your tremendous LOVING
13 years ago you took my hand - I was so afraid, so scared and sad, so young in my process
Over the years you held me close , told me to breathe, shared with me how to stand forward and be solid and grounded in myself
And yet maintain my gentleness and caring
You were instrumental in me learning to have compassion and humor around all of who I am,
and to see that being"bitchy" was not necessarily a negative way of being
You modeled how to really be with others with curiousity, caring, and honesty 
Today Joann, you live on in my heart  - and are really a part of  how I choose to do things every day
When I heard of your passing - Aubrey and I put our heads together and held each other's hands and took some breath
We talked to you and told you how much loving we had for you.
Later that same evening we gathered together as we do every week with our check in group
Many of us there sat and talked about the many impactful ways you had touched our lives.
I feel connected to you at my core, from my soul!!!
No words can possibly say all that I am feeling in my full and grateful heart. 
I celebrate you,  I am loving you with all my heart and soul.
Sue Muirhead

For Joann

    What is it to die but to stand naked in the
wind and to melt into the sun?
    And what is it to cease breathing, but to free
the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise
and expand and seek God unemcumbered?

    Only when you drink from the river of silence
shall  you indeed sing.
    And when you have reached the mountain top,
then you shall begin to climb.
    And when the earth shall claim your limbs,
then shall you truly dance.

                  From 'The Prophet'   by Kahlil Gibran


Dearest Joann, how immensely blessed I am
to have had the opportunity to dance on this
earth with you.

Brad Nixon,
Netherlands

In Memoriam of Joann

Joann was one of three of the trully important great ladies in my life.
Her empathy and expertise was hugely significant to my process in Phase 1
and Phase 2, at The Haven in 1991. Never to be forgotten
My heart goes out to those who were closest to her in their loss.

Warmest wishes

Judith Moss
Art Psychoherapist
North Wales. UK.

Joann

 I was sadden to hear of your passing along with the scores of people whose lives you touched so deeply. I remember your courage in the face of failing health & was inspired by your example that persists to this very day .I witnessed your insight in the processes of so many people & was astounded at your ability to see with such depth into the lives of others .You were, in my mind, unique in your ability to give appropriate feedback-direct & without editing for those who needed it & soft but effective for those “fragile souls” that could only endure a nudge.

 

Personally speaking Joann, I appreciate the loving & deep caring you gave to me especially at times when I was really struggling with my own health issues & the psychodynamics that subtended them .I always sensed that you recognize the depth & dimension of my process in the many courses I took at the Haven. For that,I am eternally grateful.

 

 I also what to express my appreciation for the help you gave to my family. I saw them grow & flourish under your guidance and several of them went on under you tutelage to complete their Dip. C.  Joann, I am really struggling to find the words to express the gratitude I feel for the loving, understanding & guidance you gave to my family & me….tears are dropping incessantly on my key board as I write this letter.

 

I closing Joann, I am glad that you are now at peace & in a place where there is no more pain.

 

With loving memories of you.

 

Bill McCallum

Coming Home from Vietnam

I was at the edge of an emotional precipice in 1984 when my family
doctor suggested that I attend a Come Alive program at The Haven. I'd
never heard of Come Alive or The Haven, but I was desperate enough to
take a chance. It was a life-altering decision.

Joann was one of the leaders of the Come Alive that I participated
in, and by the end of the week I had a new appreciation of myself and
of the meaning of "family" in a context beyond that of blood and
marriage. More significantly, Joann and I had a private meeting late
one evening at the restaurant. Over mugs of Sleepy Time tea,
surrounded by the unique Haven ambience, the subject of my Vietnam
duty with the U.S. Marine Corps came up. I explained how I had been
seriously wounded in a firefight 18 years before, but had always
considered myself lucky that I hadn't suffered psychological trauma
along with the physical trauma. Not many minutes passed before, to my
shock and dismay, I experienced a flashback to an incident that was
far more traumatic, in a psychological sense, than getting shot. It
was the first flashback I had ever experienced, and it left me
shaking and with tears streaming down my face.

Through Joann's gentle and empathetic concern, I had come face to
face with at least one source of my depression, insomnia, and anger.
She recognized something within me that I had not recognized, or even
remembered. She guided me through the first, painful hours following
the flashback and started me on a healing journey. Subsequently I
suffered two more flashbacks, and I cannot say today that I have
truly come home from Vietnam. Indeed, I may *never* complete that
journey. But along the way, at a critical moment, I had Joann
Peterson on my side, and she made my future path smoother than it
might otherwise have been. Thank you, Joann. I will miss you.

Semper Fidelis,

Bob Ingraham

Forever

Joann a loving person I will forever hold in my heart....Chris Jenner

Joann

Wally and I are deeply moved to have had the opportunity to have shared so
many wonderful moments with you. I learned a great deal about myself and
how to be with other people, you were a fabulous teacher and friend. You
never missed an opportunity to ask me "how is Wally doing?" both of you had
similar surgery's and I was always aware of your caring for us and for those
around you. You lived life right until the end, and you and your work will
be remembered by many.

With loving memories of a dynamic woman and mentor.

Leslie and Wally

Joann

I have just now read the news of Joann’s passing and am saddened by this news. I know this is a selfish sadness as I had plans of taking many more workshops with Joann. I first met Joann when she came to Yellowknife in 2003 to do the Anger, Boundaries and Safety workshop. She returned to do the Boundaries workshop and I also was fortunate to be able to take Come Alive from Ben, Jock and Joann at Haven in April 2004. I was going through a particularly difficult separation at this time and all these workshops were a tremendous help in dealing with this phase in my life. I guess I felt a close connection to Joann, not only from her strengths as a workshop facilitator and beautiful woman, but also from the knowing that Joann was very happy to be able to bring her ideas to Yellowknife. She joked about the fact that on her dog sled ride it was so cold that her glasses shattered- who else would joke about this. I was also fortunate to be able to take Phase 1 from Joann in summer of 2005.  Although I have not really thought too much about the spirit world, I will definitely be looking for Joann’s presence here in Yellowknife.

 

Thank you Joann for traveling to this part of the country and introducing me to Haven ideas and friendships

 

Sincerely

Sharon Thomas

 

 

Au revoir!

I really believe that you can rest in peace now. You have done so much for the community, helped so many people and affected so many lives.   I feel so blessed to have known you and I will carry these moments until the day I past away.

 

I want to say “Au revoir”  to an incredible woman!

 

Manon Ruel

Sechelt B.C.

Joann

Joann,

 

Once again you have encouraged me to stop and breathe; and my world has opened.

I see your challenging and loving eyes;

I hear your direct and truthful words;

My body remembers; my spirit is inspired.

 

You resonate within; gently questioning.

And while I resist the answers, I’m listening.

Thank you for continuing to help me see what is and what can be.

 

Journey safe,

Karen Sveinunggaard

 

Dear, Dear Joann

I would like to add my voice to all of yours in celebration of Joann.  Even typing her name just now without the "e" brings sadness.  The unusual spelling of her name is reflective of all her special qualities - and I am bereft I will no longer write emails to her and read her responses, or see her and hug her in the dining room at Haven, or at Smiler's in New York, or most specially propped on "her" green sofa here at my home on Gabriola - talking with me about everything "girlish," outfits, haircuts, the books we enjoyed, our weight, our husbands, our dogs, everything.  She played so many roles in my life - initially as a teacher during my Phase programs...I was present when Joann and Linda Nicholls received their Dip.C.'s, - I remember sitting on the floor watching as Ben and Jock praised them and talked about who they were in the world -  I was totally in awe of these two woman, they were "gods" to me.

Joann was a mentor and then the "boss of me" while I was in the Intern path.  She always remembered I was an early riser and at that last Intern Meeting after Small Group, would encourage me to go first to report about small group knowing I wanted to flee the meeting and crash in bed.  I remember during one Intern Meeting the discussion was about fragile egos that shattered easily.  She turned to me and said something like...I'm always careful how I phrase things when giving you negative feedback because I'm aware how easily you collapse - and I looked at her wide-eyed and said, I'm not aware of you giving me any negative feedback and she retorted...See what I mean? See how careful I am?  In the early 90's I invited her to Portland to co-facilitate, along with Susan Clarke, two Sass family meetings - her generosity of spirit, her calm presence, her humor, her spot on feedback impressed each and every one of us - and each one of us believed she was our own special advocate and each one of us was correct.  Joann "starred" in my video series, COUPLES, adding her special form of facilitating and credibility to the mix.  She was an eager and participatory guest many times on our boat, Eleanor Allen, and was so doggone appreciative to be included...is she KIDDING?  For us, it was a coup that Joann Peterson was sharing vacation time with us!!

I have been house bound here on Gabriola the last four days, dealing with an extended power outage and SNOW.  I've talked on the phone with a few friends about Joann's death, but basically I've been alone, thinking about her.  Yesterday (Thursday) was a startlingly beautiful day and I thought about Joann as I sat on the couch and looked at the ocean, the mountains and the seagulls flying about in the vast sky.  My belief is Joann is here, everywhere, so I talked with her in my mind, then in whispers and finally out loud and applauded her and asked her questions.  How are you?  What's it like to be free of your ailing body?  Have you met your mother?  Have you seen my Mother?  Of course, there were no answers to my questions, but doggone it, I believe she was there with me, smiling her smile, nodding her head, adjusting herself on her black backrest on the green sofa, being as always my teacher, my mentor, my boss, my traveling companion...and most importantly...my wise and wonderful girlfriend.  I love you so, Joann - fly free!!

Jen 

--  

Jennifer Bement Sass
(503) 635-7511  Letting Go Foundation, Inc.
(503) 635-9967  Sassy Productions
(503) 635-9727  Fax

Hi,

 

I was sad to hear of Joann's passing. I regret that I didn't do more workshops with her because I feel I could have learnt a lot more about myself. I didn't know Joann but I did. I admired Joann's presence. I'm sure I will continue to learn from her. 

 

 I just want to let the family and the staff at Haven know that you are in my thoughts.

 

Anna

Smiling warmly

How much I enjoyed respecting your boundary of approaching from in
front and asking to share a hug.
How much I learned about spirit and respect when you stopped a program
to honoured a soul in a womb.
How much I enjoyed a simple yak with you coming home from a
presentation.
Your words to me hit my soul, and your advice sings still.
You graceful, precious being, honouring our presence.
I have learned from you
And I am, missing you, smiling warmly.

Bon Voyage Joann

Joann…It was a special privilege and honor to know you over the past 15 years and I have many memories from your workshops and interning under your leadership. I especially remember time I spent with you, Pete and Wendy in Skagway, Alaska; Atlin, BC and Whitehorse, Yukon holidaying and exploring.  You made a giant mark in this world and in my heart and I will never forget the help and support you provided in my process.

 

Don Hutton

Marsh Lake, Yukon

Your teaching continues

While spending hours trying to get home last night in the crazy snow, I felt warm, knowing Joann was there amongst the snow flakes, just as she is a part of the beautiful sun shining on me today.  I love you Joann and will miss you a lot.  Many times I thought of you, wondering how you’re doing, but I never called or made contact.  I didn’t act on my intuition.  I’m smiling because even in your passing, you have taught me a valuable lesson.  You taught me the value in my intuitions and reminded me to respect my body’s wisdom.  I look forward to the many more lessons to come. 

 

Over the holiday Season I found myself spending almost every day writing a prayer.  It is a prayer expressing my gratitude to God.  The first thing I thought of when I heard of Joann’s passing was how easy it would be to insert Joann into this prayer in so many places. 

 

I’m sending you a huge loving “spirit hug”.

 

Loving you

 

Tom

 

Holding You In My Heart

Joann, my love -
When I ventured to Haven some 15 years ago, all by myself from
Nashville, Tennessee, I only knew the instructions I was given by an
acquaintance, "Take the Come Alive with Ben, Jock, & Joann." Like a
dog following a scent, I signed up for the course and, like a good
student, took diligent notes! It must have been in my 2nd or 3rd year
of taking that same Come Alive that you said to me, "Laurie, put away
your notebook." Do you remember, Joann? I froze! I slide my notebook
and pen under my pillow and prayed that I wouldn't be one of those
participants "in the middle." I couldn't imagine that I was worthy of
that attention (which I later learned from you was "recognition")!
Under your gentle, warm, caring and confronting guidance, I ventured
out of my shell and my protection. How many times did I huddle into
your bosom? How many times did you rock me while my tears poured out?
Do you remember the lullaby that you sang just for me, Joann? Verse
after verse with my name, words of loving and caring just for me! You
showed me what being loved is - how to feel it, create it, be in it.
In Phase I, you presented me with the hardest lesson, the most
difficult confrontation, and the most challenging and exciting
invitation. It was as if you could see ahead the choices I might make
and the consequences of each path. My dear and loving friend, mother,
mentor, teacher, you know the choice I made on that day of our most
difficult discussion. I chose life and am here living it. I am a
testament to your inspiration, literally the breathing in of being
alive.
As the years of our relationship have gone by, I allowed myself to be
with you in new ways - we were friends, sharing gossip, good food and
drink, and giggles. You let me treat you to a bit of queenliness in my
home. Thank you for letting me feed you, nuture you, spoil you. I
enjoyed every moment!
I look in the faces of my children, Grace and Kelley, and see you. You
provided me with lengthy consultations on their development and gave me
assurances of my skills in parenting. They know you Auntie Joann and
you live on in their souls and especially in their delight during daily
"naughty, messy time" (which you insisted we create!).
Joann, may this journey you are on now be fabulous and, to use one of
your favorite words, JUICY!!!

I hug your spirit and gently kiss your soul, Laurie
Laurie Kelley

Joann's memory

From Dennis Robinson

 

I will always remember my first introduction to Haven at a Come Alive in 1989 that Joann and Peggy were leading. Those few days gave me some tools to show me how to restart my life. I will never forget the love that was emanating from that group of people, and from Joann and Peggy.

joann

I was saddened by the news of Joann's passing.  I was deeply touched and enriched by my engagement with her on the many programmes I did throughout the 90's.  I am sure part of her lives on within me now...and I have a great warmth in my heart when I think of her and how she touched my life, and so many other lives in ways that were such an instrument of transformation.  For this I will always have the deepest gratitude that I was lucky enough to spend time with her.

 

Maita Robinson

Bristol

UK

Thanks, Joann!

 

I took part in what I'm told was the smallest Phase One program Haven ever ran. There were just eight participants.

 

Joann led that group, and it's where I met, connected with, fell in love, and ultimately chose to leave the island with my partner Karen.

 

Every day for the first month of our relationship together, Karen and I got to experience Joann's wisdom, caring, and strength. It was such a great gift.

 

Last night, when I learned of Joann's death, I went upstairs to tell Karen the sad news.

 

She was putting our daughter to bed, and I sat there appreciating Ella as this beautiful manifestation of Joann's capacity to share her wonderful self.

 

 

David Liebe

 

to post to the memorial

Gary & I had many happy times with Joann.  We enjoyed her wisdom and her talent for helping us see the other side of issues.  Her wonderful, gentle manner soothed all manner of people, including us.

 

On the evening of the Jan. 10th here in Australia, which would have been the 9th in Canada, Gary suddenly got the 'urge' to view our videos of some of our work at Haven about 18 and 21 years ago.  Perhaps he was somehow aware of Joann's passing and we linked up with again, as I'm sure she did with many people,  as she left this planet.

 

Our deepest condolances to her family, and many, many thanks for letting us share our lives with her.

 

Gary Dumaresq and Pat Woodcock,

Townsville, Australia

A huge sense of sadness

I am filled with sadness in learning about Joanne's passing.

Joanne was one a significant person in my life and at my attendance at the Haven. She could see the inside of people in an instance and when asked she would be there for us.

I learned so much with Joanne's help and love.

She was a wonderful loving woman who touched not only my life but many many more.

A prayer for her and her family I will say and remember her tender ways forever.

Sue Spurgeon

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Re: Joann Peterson

I was so sad to hear Joann passed away,it's a piece of sudden news for me...I read Joann's email and my reply email in Dec again...it seems she was better and better...I look forward to seeing her in Haven and Shanghai and I told her I would be an intern there...but...I have to talk with Sean,my sisters Ping, Li and my friends linda,YiXin to share my sad feeling...

It's my privilege to attend her workshop four times in Haven...I am drawn to her by her inner strength , her wisdom and personal virtues and I like her childlike purity...I remember the Mini phase 2 ending time...she was smile to us and we left silently one by one...this is a Zen style...I feel very close with her and I could feel her mother-like caring even now and forever......

I hope someday the Effective Boundary and Phase 2 ... programs could be delivered in China..Joann would be very happy to see this...

Our heart are connected with Joann forever

Love
Yafang Sun

Re: Joann Peterson

Thank you very much for letting me know of Joann's passing away.
        
I am happy for her that she was at Haven to teach after her surgery even though she was very fragile. She kept up her spirit strong till the end with her own choice.
        
I took quite a few workshops from Joann in the last ten years and did interning under her guidance also. Those experiences and learning would always be part of me and I have much respect and appreciation for her expertise, commitments and dedication.
        
She would be missed by many of her students, including me, and colleagues. I send my condolences to her family.
        
Warmest regard,
        
Susan Lee

Condolences letter to Joann from Chinese friends(Huawei)

Jan 11, 2007

Our condolences on Joann Peterson's passing away

We felt painful at the news that Joann left us on the 9th, and we were comforted that she left in peace without any pain. We deem it as a gift from above.

We all have been under her instruction or coaching, and we are so grateful to this privilege. For she is indeed a unique mentor, rare and precious in her personal style, so down to earth but also up high in virtues. We are all drawn to her by her inner strength, her genuine caring, and childlike purity. We feel connected with her, for we regard her as one of our family members, as if having her mother-like caring always. She'll remain a gem and blessing in our heart forever.

Dear Joann, thank you so much for the 2 weeks spent together with us on Gabriola Island, Canada. The light shone from you has enlightened us a great deal and will direct us toward more wholesomeness in our future.

May you rest in peace.

Love from your friends in China,

Andy Ren, Christina Mi, Frank Fei, Helen Li, Linda Xu, Paul Wang, Ping Sun, Yanping Hu, Yixin Song, Yafang Sun, Zhinan Sun,

some words for Joann Peterson

I have some words for Joann Peterson.
 
I have been contacted with Joann Peterson about holding her effective boundary workshop in China as she also has shown  strong interest in coming to China to lead it. Many participants are expecting to learn from her about boundary as boundary issue is a common problem for many Chinese.
 
Because she had a heart operation last year and was too weak to go to China  we had to cancel it last Dec. We thought it would happen in 2007.
 
Now to hold effective boundary by Joann Peterson has become an " unfinished business" to us forever.
 
This makes me more cherish every opportunity and moment with people from the Haven. I really have deep gratitude towards every leader from the Haven who have come to China and developed the Haven's ideas to Chinese and walked your talk in the past years.
 
Joann Peterson is a respectful and loving leader in our Chinese heart even though I didn't meet with her personally. She is living in our heart all the time.
 
I am dreaming that boundary ideas from Joann Peterson and the Haven could be brought into China one day by some other leaders or facilitators in the Haven.
 
We will remember her by learning her ideas and practising her ideas and living a better life.
 
With love
Hettie Tu 

International Department
New Heaven Culture Development(Shenzhen) Co,.Ltd

From IIIHS, Montreal

Dear Gabriola,

Our prayers and love are with dear, dear Joann as she has entered the heavenly world.

Certainly she is in the divine light and has been received in a special way.

We pray & unite with all as we which think of our loss. We all miss her physical presence but we'll always live in the assurance of eternal life & light.

Joann's being was and is and will always be a beacon of light to all who knew her.

What is so very, very special to all of us here in Montreal is that one of my dear friends/volunteers Geetaji had a clear dream and it really was the story of Joann.

That same morning John was awakened at 05:17 am and heard her name called. It happened twice. It startled him and he came downstairs to find me doing my morning sadhana, Then I felt Joann presence & sent of her a thought of divine love.

THIS WAS THE MORNING of the day before we got the news!!!

Then today at 03:42 pm as I was walking in St. Catherine I heard her say "Marilyn- can you see me? can you hear me?
I am just fine. Please tell all I'm fine".

Then I saw a beam of light & I prayed.

Please, please let me know of any event that is being planed to honour and celebrate her life with our love.

Marilyn, John & Sr. Leona

Welcome

This blog has been created to share thoughts and memories of Joann
Peterson, who passed away on Tuesday 9 January. Welcome to all of
Joann's friends and colleagues.

Rachel Davey
Director of Programs
The Haven Institute

Dear Joann

 

 

Dear Joann

 

I struggle to find the words as I remember the times we have spent together. I have a heavy heart and a light spirit as I am with you.

 

You shared with me your self in so many ways. From the gentle words and the playful wink you shared, to your words of wisdom and wonderful stories of learning. You have been such a huge part of my journey. You have guided me and offered many thoughtful insight of who I am when I was stuck and didn't see myself. You were warm and loving and packed a huge punch for such a small women.

 

You held my hand and hugged me. You listened when I confessed my transference, " like you didn't already know". You allowed me the space to be me and shared in my sadness and my joy. You encourage me to follow my dreams and be with myself in whatever that was. You had this unique ability to be with me in a personal and loving way, like I was the only one in the room.

 

I mourn the loss of your physical body and hold your spirit in my heart.

 

Terri Wolfe